This weekend I was at a training and someone mentioned “social agreements”. My ears immediately went “Ping!” Whaaaat? Did I agree? Someone else called them “social contracts”. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!??!!! Did I sign?!?
Here’s today’s list of agreements my head somehow got around to thinking I’d made. I politely decline to sign and encourage you to draw up a list of your own! Cheers to writing your own agreements–and savoring the empowering relationships that ensue.
We don’t wear earplugs in public. Whaaat?! Earplugs are the best. They let me hear myself while also getting to be around YOU!
We ask how everyone’s day/weekend was upon returning home and share how ours was, as well. Right away. No, thank you! We ask and share if and when we really feel like asking and sharing! We know we’re connected NMW.
We wear clothes to fit in. Again, politely declined. We wear what makes us happy!
We fill awkward silences. … … … Naw. Hanging in awkward silence is magical!
We can’t be connected unless there’s doing and talking. See above. x2
We don’t “look like we’re looking” for a partner. Go for it! If you know what you want, what wouldn’t you proudly look for it?!
We should all know “what we do”, or at least pretend to. No we shouldn’t! That’s dangerous! I like to revise my “what I do statement” nearly daily and sometimes simply say “I try to keep my heart open” or “I don’t know”! (Gasp!/Woo hoo!)
We should be ashamed when we make mistakes, especially if we make them over and over. No, we shouldn’t. There is nothing more important to teach our children and the children within than to love, love, love ourselves UNCONDITIONALLY.
We can’t tell people we want attention or connection. Why is this revolutionary?!!? Openly sharing that you want connection or–gasp!–attention frees you, connects us and leads to hugging! Obviously wise.
Don’t sigh or make yoga noises in public. You got an exhale that needs out? You got pleasure bubbling up? Let me hear it! Someone once told me I sound like I’m having an orgasm when I eat. Thank you! I call that my gratitude practice. And, if all this shunning of social “norms” leaves one wanting for some old-fashioned “everyone is doing it”, well, everyone recommends a gratitude practice.
Ok, fantastic friends. That’s my list for today. I’d love to hear yours.
