Growing up Christian, I got mixed messages about external markers of success. The hippies (of whom Jesus was my favorite) preached that wealth was a sign of having your priorities backwards. At the same time, other teachings evidenced that wealth was a sign of God’s favor and provision.
Flash-forward 20 years and I’m living in a hotbed of spiritual seekers that seem to have eschewed Christianity in name yet adopted it’s same conundrums. Internal gold is the ultimate gold and yeeeeeet… if the gold you’ve got on the inside is truly gold, you will automatically attract and manifest external gold.
But it doesn’t always work out so simply. People burn their feet on Mega-Coaches’ coals and then hide in shame for their failure to “think like a winner.” Creatives and healers of all stripes hide their struggles for fear they must not really have a gift if it hasn’t yet brought on their 7-figure income. A friend diagnosed with cancer wonders what she did to attract that.
WTF?
This is, as a friend recently heard it termed, “metaphysical malpractice”. The Christians and the New Agers alike are on to something with their attractive laws and such, of course. YES, our insides attract/manifest/create/affect our outsides. AND, to play responsibly, we must tune in to some glorious MMSs (Mystery Middle Steps).
Imagine that you are feeling depressed (/unsuccessful/cancerous). Imagine thinking, “Screw me, I must not want to be happy (successful/healthy)”. Then, on behalf of that part of you, as if defending a child in another country being told his poverty means God doesn’t love his family, imagine screaming a big “Screw YOU, Anyone Who Would Say I Don’t Want To Be Happy (/Successful/Healthy)!!!” Feel that? That is the return of your vitality/life-force/empowerment.
Now imagine that vitality giving you the freedom/space/perspective to “drop in” enough to see your life–all of your life–as perfect/yours/empowering exactly as it is–the way you see life when at your most “enlightened” only this time your Enlightenment includes and embraces the powerful and wild screaming you who does not want to live in cancer/poverty/war.
Some would call that wild scream the anger of grief and some would call embracing that a holy act for all True Humans.
If you’re not “attracting” something wanted into your life (or are experiencing something unwanted), your soul’s got something bigger/deeper/vaster planned AND at the same time, I believe you genuinely, truly want what you want. We are spirits in flesh for a reason. It is the work of True Human-hood to grieve losses/depression/cancer, while at the same time (when we can do so without hurting ourselves) reveling in the divine perfection of our lives exactly as they are.
I urge you to play around with this with me. Try going back and forth between enlightenment and wild screams and see if you can more and more often enjoy both at once. When useful, say screw it to this whole exercise. The point is to keep affirming YOU, whatever and however YOU are. Jesus told me that YOU are the true gold the world really wants.
Thank you for Being, yet again.
All my love,
Liz
